Mary Sue’s New Shoes

In the country there lived a girl named Mary Sue,
And she was the one who inhabited Mother Hubbard’s giant shoe.
She lived with her perfect mother and perfect father.
She even lived with her perfect boyfriend, who was no bother,
For this was Mary’s perfect little life,
And she never thought it would end with a writer’s perfect little knife.

In the real world there was a girl named Molly,
And her life was far from jolly.
She picked up her pen, she picked up her paper,
And Molly got to work on her epic crime caper.
Mary was her main character, perfect in every way.
Mary was clearly Molly, as clear as a perfect day.

Molly put herself into the story as perfect little Mary,
Ending her horrible life, clearly the gray dreary.
She wrote day in and day out,
On Mary Sue’s story all about.
The one day the story was done!
And Molly rejoiced and read her lovely pun.

She read an sighed, “Oh No!” in sorrow.
Mary was so perfect every day and even tomorrow.
The story was boring, and Molly cried.
Mary Sue was so perfect, there was no defect on her hide.
Perfect skin, perfect personality, perfect everything about her!
So Molly threw Mary away, and then there was no more of that girl for sure.

Mary cried herself to sleep, giant drops of salt water banging onto her floor.
“She hates me! She hates me!” cried Mary to the door.
Her boyfriend left her, her parents disowned her.
She was a disgrace to her perfect little family, too much to endure.
So Mary left her perfect little life,
And went to rediscover what she was really like.

She searched high and low for ways to be normal.
One day she ended up at a great writer’s make believe formal.
All the ladies dressed all nice,
And the guys dressed to entice.
Mary Sue asked them all, “How do you do it?”
And they all said, “Do what? All we do is knit!”

“Knit? Knit?!” Mary Sue declared, and she left,
Searching again for something to catch her drift.
She went to Middle Earth, she went to New York.
All she ever found abnormal was an old used spork.
They were all perfect, they were all like her!
And then she realized it, “this is a perfect little world for sure!”

She knew it immediately, she was stuck there for all time!
Stuck in a world of perfect characters that stung her like lime.
Then she realized that she knew the way to set herself free.
Mary Sue would get herself away from the perfect spree.
She would go to Molly directly and show her worth.
“Yes! I’ll do it!” Mary declared with her tiny girth.

Mary walked back to her shoe and knocked on the door,
And barged in, shoes clanging on the perfect door.
She cried out loud, “Molly, I know how you feel!
I am boring, as boring as an orange peel!
There is nothing about me that makes me who I am,
Or at least there was until I found the end of this sham!”

Molly heard the commotion, and pulled the paper from the trash.
“Mary Sue, are you speaking to me?” she cried in a flash.
“You’re a figment of my imagination, a piece of fluff.
I never meant for you to happen, and that is enough!
You are boring, you are dull.
That is why you ended up in this lull.”

“No more, Molly, no more!
I am a changed girl, and I am reborn!
I have quirks, I have qualms for you!
I am now unique, not something for others to chew!”
Mary Sue jumped up and down, waving her arms around.
“You know, Molly, now get me out of this town!”

The writer grabbed her paper, and penned a new story,
Writing Molly into a new world full of glory.
No longer perfect, but with it’s faults,
A place where Mary Sue could stretch her legs without constant halts.
“I’m done, I’m done!” Molly declared then.
And Mary Sue jumped ship and ran straight in.

“It’s great, it’s just for me!” Mary Sue said.
She jumped up and down like she was going to be fed.
“Finally, a place of weirdness, a place of my own.
Thank you, Molly, I owe you all my bones.
You freed me from that perfect world of drear.
And for that, Molly, you now know the way to set the world clear!”